課題のイントロの部分ですけどね、一見分かりやすそうですが、何を言いたいのかイマイチ分かりません。ネイティヴでもこんなもんだよ、と分かってもらえれば。まあ、これくらい書ければ7.0に行くんじゃないですか？というより、これより簡単に書いてもらいたい。その方が絶対に高得点が取れると思うんだけど？この人達にはもちろん Pass (50点以上）をあげましたよ。Credit (65~74点）くらいはあげられるかなぁ。でもDistinction (75～84点）は無理。High Distinction （85点以上：トップ5%）なんて、もっと無理。 あ、この課題に関しては「I」（第一人称）を使って書くように、との指定つきです。「Reflective Essay」なので。
ステイシー
I was involved in a group assignment to present a topic to the class, group work was involved to research and prepare the topic. However, as within any group there were complications in this process. ... Throughout this reflective essay I will be discussing how group cohesion and feeling of empowerment effects group effectiveness and the process from preparing the presentation, to initiating it.
ケイシー
This paper will examine the connunication between group members to prepare, presented and responded of my group assignment. As my role in the group was a presenter I will evaluate the presentation and relate this back to supporting theories.
ブレンダン
This is a report on the presentation on networking and mentoring, which was carried out by out group in week nine. My role in the group work was to present the finished project, this is my reflection of the events of that presentation and the group work leading up to the presentation, as well as a reflection on the feedback received.
2007年5月26日土曜日
2007年5月12日土曜日
Academic Writing Task 1 必勝ウラ技
Task 1 で、Conclusion をどう書くか悩んでいるアナタへ。
This is the end of my report. あるいは、
This is the end of desctription for [Title].
これだけです。本当に？ええ、本当にこれだけです。
This is the end of my report. あるいは、
This is the end of desctription for [Title].
これだけです。本当に？ええ、本当にこれだけです。
2007年4月22日日曜日
Back to Basics
自分の英語を時々チェックすることが上達につながる。いつもはAPA（American Psychology Association)の発行しているStyle Manual 5th Edition を使うけど、それでは「英語」のチェックには足りない。というわけで今回はコレを使用。
Renton, N.E. (2004). Conpendium of good writing: A plain English guide to plain English. Milton, QLD: Wiley & Sons.
この（↑）の書き並べ順とか、イタリックとかコンマとか、そういうのはAPA Style Manual を見れば分かるけど、grammar とか、punctuation とか、この本はとてもきっちり書いてあるのでお勧めできる。オーストラリア版なので、イギリス英語とアメリカ英語の区別がはっきり書かれている（AUSではアメリカナイズがかなり深刻な問題になっている）。私のクラスの学生にもこれを読んでもらいたいと思う。
中身をちょっと紹介してみよう。
「文法的に合っているからといって、その文が必ずしもきちんとした『英語』であるとは限らない」
私のように博士課程でとか学術雑誌で論文を書いている者にとっても、難しい単語を覚えて使おうとすることにはリスクが生じる。そして大抵は失敗する。試したいなら、失敗しても良い場所で試すべきだ。試験本番で試す人は余程の自信があるか、落ちても良いと思っている人だ。
今回も、かなりの文章が修正され、原稿は赤字だらけになった。殆どが中高生で習った構文に置き換えられ、カッコイイと思って使った単語はことごとく抹殺されていた。上の二つの例文を見れば、その真意は明らかである。
Renton, N.E. (2004). Conpendium of good writing: A plain English guide to plain English. Milton, QLD: Wiley & Sons.
この（↑）の書き並べ順とか、イタリックとかコンマとか、そういうのはAPA Style Manual を見れば分かるけど、grammar とか、punctuation とか、この本はとてもきっちり書いてあるのでお勧めできる。オーストラリア版なので、イギリス英語とアメリカ英語の区別がはっきり書かれている（AUSではアメリカナイズがかなり深刻な問題になっている）。私のクラスの学生にもこれを読んでもらいたいと思う。
中身をちょっと紹介してみよう。
「文法的に合っているからといって、その文が必ずしもきちんとした『英語』であるとは限らない」
- (A) The manager was present when the present was presented to Peter just before Bill came in to present his message.
- (B) The manager was in attendance when the gift was handed to Peter just before Bill came in to deliver his message.
- (A) These conditions have been fought for for more than one hundred years.
- (B) Workers have fought for these conditions for more than one hundred years.
私のように博士課程でとか学術雑誌で論文を書いている者にとっても、難しい単語を覚えて使おうとすることにはリスクが生じる。そして大抵は失敗する。試したいなら、失敗しても良い場所で試すべきだ。試験本番で試す人は余程の自信があるか、落ちても良いと思っている人だ。
今回も、かなりの文章が修正され、原稿は赤字だらけになった。殆どが中高生で習った構文に置き換えられ、カッコイイと思って使った単語はことごとく抹殺されていた。上の二つの例文を見れば、その真意は明らかである。
2007年4月4日水曜日
Writing General Task 1
You should spend 20 miniuts on this task. You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter：
- explain your situation
- describe your problems
- tell him/her when you think you can start.
You shoud write at least 150 wards. you do NOT need to write your own address. Begin your letter as follows. "Dear..."
[Sample Answer]
Dear Ms Adams,
I am writing concerning the position of Assistant Office Management that I am due to begin next Monday. However, a problem has arisen. As you know, I currently work for my uncle's food-packing business,and you will remember from my interview that I have gaind valuable experience there. Unfortunately, he has had to go into hospital for an operation.leaving my aunt in charge of both the home and the business. She has asked me, as this is a particularly busy time of the year to stay on and help her with the running of the office. I realise this will be inconvenient to you but very much hope that given the circumstances, you would be prepared to allow me to take up my position with you two weeks later than planned. I would like to emphasise that I remain very keen to work with you. and that I will be gaining further useful experience during this time. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,
[Your name here]
このモデル回答は、実際にはあまり良い文章とは言えませんが、これでも7.0は軽く行けるというのであれば、そんなに気負ってかっこいい文章をつくる必要はないと思えます。この回答は、かっこよすぎるあまりに、だらだらとムダに長くなっている箇所があり、意味も取りづらいです。個人的な言い訳がならんでいて、実際にこんな手紙を受け取ったら、あまり相手は良い印象を持たないでしょう（As you know, とか）。
実際のビジネスの手紙としては、これが通用するかは別として、模範例としてある場所に出ていたので、これで十分行けると思います。
2007年3月16日金曜日
練習問題 うちの大学のニュース
あえて題名は伏せておきます。Wed 14 of Mar, 2007 の「Health」から。
５５７語あります。長文パッセージとして丁度良いでしょう。
アカデミックのライティングを勉強している人は、以下の数字から
グラフや表を作り上げる「逆読み」を活用すると、
リーディングとライティングが一石二鳥で上達できます。
Suicide rates in Queensland have been relatively stable over recent years according to the latest available data but more than 500 deaths each year is no comfort to the many families and friends left behind.
A new report by the Australian Institute for Suicide Research and Prevention (AISRAP) highlights the extent of the tragedy - with 1,715 deaths recorded during the period 2002-2004. Just under 1,500 deaths were recorded in Queensland during the previous reporting period of 1999-2001.
Suicide in Queensland 2002-2004: Mortality rates and related data will be launched at the Premier’s Hall, Level 4, Parliamentary Annexe, Brisbane, today (Thursday, 15 March, 1pm) by Mr Ronan Lee MP, Parliamentary Secretary for the Minister for Communities, Minister for Disability Services, Minister for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Partnerships, and Minister for Seniors and Youth.
AISRAP director Professor Diego De Leo said the report confirmed that males were still much more vulnerable to the challenges of life than females, with four times more suicides in men than women. The most vulnerable demographic group were men aged 25-34 years. Professor De Leo said understanding the impact of divorce or separation on men and women was important to interpreting the discrepancy in suicide rates between the two sexes. For that reason, AISRAP researchers are currently partnering with organisations such as Lifeline, Mensline and other support groups to investigate men’s experiences of relationship breakdowns.
“Separation can contribute to a sense of failure and social isolation along with the financial, emotional and other pressures associated with relocation and child custody issues. It appears to affect men much differently than women.”
“Old age is also far more challenging for men than for women,” he said.
The male to female ratio for deaths from suicide in 65-74 year olds is a staggering nine to one.
“Role changes such as retirement and the impact of physical illness with ageing can be humiliating for men who have traditionally seen themselves as the providers,” Professor De Leo said.
“Their sense of worth and meaning in life appears to be strongly linked to employment and men need valid alternatives when their working life is over.”
Other particularly at-risk groups identified in the report include Indigenous Australians, psychiatric patients and people in police custody or correctional facilities. Professor De Leo said rural and remote regions of Queensland, particularly in the far north and the west, continued to have higher suicide rates than elsewhere in the state. Mr Lee said $2 million has been directed at suicide prevention strategies in Queensland each year since 2003 under the Queensland Government Suicide Prevention Strategy.
“The 2007 funding will be used to develop and support suicide prevention activities for high risk groups such as Indigenous people, rural and remote residents and young people,” he said.
Specific Queensland Health initiatives include:
“We value our relationship with the Australian Institute for Suicide Research and Prevention, whose work leads the way in building knowledge and skills in regard to effective suicide prevention in Queensland,” Mr Lee said.
さて、この記事は何を言っているのでしょうか？
大学で発行されているニュースなので、大学生は読めちゃう内容です。
留学を目指している諸君は「読みきり」ができることに目標をおいてね。
５５７語あります。長文パッセージとして丁度良いでしょう。
アカデミックのライティングを勉強している人は、以下の数字から
グラフや表を作り上げる「逆読み」を活用すると、
リーディングとライティングが一石二鳥で上達できます。
Suicide rates in Queensland have been relatively stable over recent years according to the latest available data but more than 500 deaths each year is no comfort to the many families and friends left behind.
A new report by the Australian Institute for Suicide Research and Prevention (AISRAP) highlights the extent of the tragedy - with 1,715 deaths recorded during the period 2002-2004. Just under 1,500 deaths were recorded in Queensland during the previous reporting period of 1999-2001.
Suicide in Queensland 2002-2004: Mortality rates and related data will be launched at the Premier’s Hall, Level 4, Parliamentary Annexe, Brisbane, today (Thursday, 15 March, 1pm) by Mr Ronan Lee MP, Parliamentary Secretary for the Minister for Communities, Minister for Disability Services, Minister for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Partnerships, and Minister for Seniors and Youth.
AISRAP director Professor Diego De Leo said the report confirmed that males were still much more vulnerable to the challenges of life than females, with four times more suicides in men than women. The most vulnerable demographic group were men aged 25-34 years. Professor De Leo said understanding the impact of divorce or separation on men and women was important to interpreting the discrepancy in suicide rates between the two sexes. For that reason, AISRAP researchers are currently partnering with organisations such as Lifeline, Mensline and other support groups to investigate men’s experiences of relationship breakdowns.
“Separation can contribute to a sense of failure and social isolation along with the financial, emotional and other pressures associated with relocation and child custody issues. It appears to affect men much differently than women.”
“Old age is also far more challenging for men than for women,” he said.
The male to female ratio for deaths from suicide in 65-74 year olds is a staggering nine to one.
“Role changes such as retirement and the impact of physical illness with ageing can be humiliating for men who have traditionally seen themselves as the providers,” Professor De Leo said.
“Their sense of worth and meaning in life appears to be strongly linked to employment and men need valid alternatives when their working life is over.”
Other particularly at-risk groups identified in the report include Indigenous Australians, psychiatric patients and people in police custody or correctional facilities. Professor De Leo said rural and remote regions of Queensland, particularly in the far north and the west, continued to have higher suicide rates than elsewhere in the state. Mr Lee said $2 million has been directed at suicide prevention strategies in Queensland each year since 2003 under the Queensland Government Suicide Prevention Strategy.
“The 2007 funding will be used to develop and support suicide prevention activities for high risk groups such as Indigenous people, rural and remote residents and young people,” he said.
Specific Queensland Health initiatives include:
- providing innovative methods of community and individual learning and support in four Aboriginal communities, and
- a project to build emotional wellbeing in the Aboriginal community of Coen by providing culturally appropriate services.
“We value our relationship with the Australian Institute for Suicide Research and Prevention, whose work leads the way in building knowledge and skills in regard to effective suicide prevention in Queensland,” Mr Lee said.
さて、この記事は何を言っているのでしょうか？
大学で発行されているニュースなので、大学生は読めちゃう内容です。
留学を目指している諸君は「読みきり」ができることに目標をおいてね。
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